Are You Respected By Your Children?
What does that mean to you as a parent? What does respect mean to your child?
When I work with families the top thing I’ve seen is that their children yell at them, or ignore them when asked to do something. This behavior is accepted. Yes it really is. Yelling back at your child is not making them stop this behavior. The only way to not accept it is to change it. Teach them respect 1. You have to show them what respect means. When you want them, do you yell for them? Or do you go to where they are and talk to them? When they want you, what do they do? Something to think about. 2. When they yell at you, do you yell back at them telling them to not yell at you? What they see is what they portray. Being disrespectful is learned behavior. If you see that yelling at your child when they disrespect you is not working, try another approach.
How can you teach your child respect? I would 1st suggest role modeling it. Say to them “I’m sorry I can’t hear you when you talk to me like that.” This will be an on-going effort on your part. If you are consistent they you will see you will reshape their behavior to start talking to you versus yelling at you.
If they ignore you when given a direction, simply say nothing. Go behind them and physically help them do what you asked. This is called hand over hand assistance. Praise them after completing the task asked. It does not matter if you helped them or not. We want to train their brain to listen the 1st time you ask them.
The magic in making all of this sustainable, is consistency and follows through. Through my 4- day in your home program called “In Home Turn Around” I help families learn this and other strategies to bring peace back in their home.