They Speak What They Hear

As parents we are the role model. We need to think of not only what we are saying to our children or in front of them, but also how we are saying things. Our children will speak what they hear and how they hear it. Do you want your kids using the same tone and words at you when you do something they don’t like? Then why do we (parents)? People yell in order to be heard. How are you listening to your child/spouse/partner? How do you know they feel they were heard?

Think of the last time you yelled at someone… Would you of yelled if you they heard you the first time? When we yell at kids and expect them not to yell at us, is this fair? We need to model how we want them to speak to us or any other person.

How do we know if this is true? Do you take time to listen to your child play? I have 4 year old twins with great imaginations. When I hear my daughter play, I hear “me.” It was a shocker to hear what she was saying, but more how she was saying it. It was in that moment I realized I needed to change not just my words but my tonality. I needed to be more mindful in what I was saying and how I was saying it.

What can you do? Ask yourself the next time you yell, “why am I yelling?” When you are very angry about something, “why am I angry?” It might surprise you that your are really not angry, however you are feeling more disappointed, ignored, or guilty. It seems that anger is the easy emotion to express these feelings. What if we dealt with the 1st feeling would our tone change? Would what we say change?  Something to think about.