How do we help create a spiritual child? Many people look at spirituality, like my friend Ariane was saying yesterday on my show, with a stereotype that spiritualities are these people with all these crystals, drinking green juices, and wearing white clothes. Spirituality is deeper than that, and as we explained on the show yesterday, spirituality kind of goes deeper. There’s like an inside and an outside. It’s really about how we teach our kids how to connect within themselves.
One of the strategies that she talked about was seeing this as a container, like what are the words we want our kids to bathe in each and every day? Looking at our kids is not teaching them; it’s reminding them of their wholeness within them. Asking them questions about what they feel when they close their eyes and breathe Where’s the connection? One of the strategies she gave is to parent from the neck down, getting into the heart, and having them realize what is going on within them. It’s being self-aware, and the first thing that we do is really look at ourselves as parents. It’s like self-evaluation as a parent. It’s really diving deep into us and saying, “What are we connecting to?”
These were such great strategies that she talked about, and I wanted to bring them here because they meant so much to me. It gave me some ideas on things that I can do personally with my kids. It’s like, Where am I getting my connection? Am I just getting my connection from my clients, calls, and emails, or am I taking time to really connect with myself and get grounded within myself? Not only do we just explain it to our kids, but how do we help them see that? When is your time to connect? How do they see you connecting and taking time to connect with yourself?
Once you’re connected with yourself, ask yourself, What am I feeling right now? What am I experiencing right now? It’s feeling that energy that you’re taking into your body and it goes back to something that I’ve talked about many times not only on my show but also on my Wednesday Wisdom about self-care. It’s giving yourself that moment to really care about yourself, letting go of the stresses, and looking at what we are making stressful in our lives. Is it something that we need to make a big deal about, or is it something that we need to kind of reel back in and realize that it’s not so serious?
To give some examples, when I was talking about my daughter, the way she dresses, and what it’s like to really come into the world, we were talking about what comes to mind when I see her dress. A lot of it is about her wearing wrinkled clothes, and I’m like, What’s going on? For me, it’s really the voice in my head that I’m hearing my mom’s voice go, “Oh gosh! What are people going to think about you?” it’s what are they going to say, “Oh, you’re not a good parent because she’s wearing wrinkled clothes. You’re not a good parent because she doesn’t match. You’re not a good parent because she looks like her clothes are dirty when they’re just stained because she’s an artist.”
When we’re waking up our kids to that spirituality within them, she asked her son how he enhanced that in him. He said, “You let me be who I am and wear what I want.” That’s what it really got to me—like, am I allowing that? Am I allowing her to grow that way and really just wearing what she wants to wear to express herself, really teaching her that there are like guidelines and boundaries and appreciating those while she’s still able to create her own style and develop her own spirit within her?
A spiritual child isn’t just necessarily about God and the universe, it’s being aware. One other aspect that we brought up in the show too is the opportunity to teach our children about the variety of religions out there and what they stand for. What’s the greatness in them so our kids aren’t growing up to say, “Oh, you’re wrong, you’re wrong, and you’re wrong. Only, I’m right.” It’s that awareness, and the more that we give our kids awareness of the different opportunities on the different roads to meet the creator, the more we give them an opportunity to choose. It also opens up that safe and trusting space for them to really delve deep into who they are, what they want to explore, and what’s true to them.
So, I ask you, what are you doing to create that foundation? As a child, I was raised as a Sikh, and my mom really wanted me to learn that religion for many purposes. But as I got older, it was my choice of where I wanted to explore. I actually took world religion in college because I wanted to understand the differences between these religions and what they were saying. It’s true that all roads lead to Rome. If that’s the case, how could I help bring that awareness to my children too? I just feel like it really makes our kids more well-rounded and more understanding. How do you set that foundation? What are you doing, number one, for yourself? Are you checking in with yourself to see how you create that wholeness inside of you, that connectedness inside of you, instead of always reaching out? That was really good because I’m going to be more aware of that myself. Number two: how are we reminding them to do it, and let’s just give them that foundation so they can be happy, healthy, and independent?
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