Parent’s Role in a Child’s Transitioning Gender

Why do we judge? It is because something that we are not aware of gives us anxiety. It’s such a common thing; we do it with everybody. It’s not the gender variant people; we have cases of body-shaming, colorism, and racism. Acceptance is a process. Parents who do have transitioning children may need to up their game and become more knowledgeable. Read the right stuff. Ever since I read Hida Viloria’s book, “The Spectrum of Sex,” it has been an eye-opener for me. 

Allow your child to transition their body the way it was intended by the universe; allow them to do so at 18. My daughter tells me, “Mom, I really feel like a boy. I want to change my name, wear boy’s clothes, and want you to see me as a boy.” I would definitely see him now as a boy. I would let him know his name, I would let him get his clothes, and I would help him feel what it feels like to have his new identity. When he turned 18, we would have that discussion. “How do you feel? If this is what you really want, how can I support you? ,” this type of question. If he said, “Mom, ready to see a doctor. I want to go on hormones. I want my female hormones that I was born with to be suppressed, and I want more testosterone. I want to have a deeper voice. I want my body to form a boy, so I need the chemical things,” I would support him a hundred percent.

It’s his choice; I wish that he would wait till’ he was 25 or 28 until his brain was fully developed. However, at 18, it’s his choice, and I would love him as my son now. I would see him and allow it to happen with my full love and support. That doesn’t mean I’m not loving or supporting him before 18. As a parent, I’m here to guide him. I’m here to make the best decision I possibly can. I’m not here to shame the parents who have made that decision to let their kids go. If you’ve made that decision and that’s how you feel you can support your child, then I support you. 

Another thing is that, as parents, we can provide information. Take our children to a healthcare provider who understands what’s going on. If you take them to someone who doesn’t, who’s not trained, they will end up inducing the stigma of some kind of medical harm.

Listen to the full episode here:

For more parenting content, visit my YouTube channel: