Meditation with parents is a more in-depth process because we’ve had such a longer history. So I do have a big family history with my parents. If I do have a parent who is having a lot of anxiety or depression, I might really get to the root of it, and then I might refer them to work with someone or, if it’s not as serious, help them learn strategies to get it under control. But because usually there is a root to the problem, we all have histories of traumas or whatever has happened in our lives, which could bring on stress, anxiety, and depression that you might not even realize. So parents should understand what that is and then help them get a handle on it. And then from there, when they can start talking about and understanding, they’re going to be able to help their kids with that.
For me, I felt it was realizing when I got really stressed, when my tone of voice would change, when things would change. And it was always when I was rushed, and then I noticed the kids were picking up on it, and I’m like, “Oh, because they feel rushed.” So now my whole thing is, how do I set us all up to win? The best way to set us up to win is not to feel rushed in the morning. Not feel rushed. Does that mean I need to get up an extra 15 minutes early? Does that mean that I need to shower before I get the kids up? Like, whatever that means. And I share this again with everyone. It’s putting your own oxygen mask on. What do I need to do to make sure I’m showing up as my best self to show up for them?
We’ve had, like, a late night or something we’ve done. I’ve even gone to school late. When I was growing up, we would never do this. We had to be at school, no matter what. But I’ve taken my son to school late. If we had a lot going on, I let him sleep. I get up slowly, and we go to school late because I figure it’s better that we all are. Like, not rushed. He’s gotten enough sleep, and then he can get to school, and if he has extra homework later, that’s fine. But I always think about whatever’s happening in the moment and try to do exactly what I was saying: be present, understand what’s going on, and then do what’s best. You don’t always have to follow exactly what you think is the right thing or the normal thing to do.
Listen to the full episode here:
“Mindful Parenting: Nurturing Calmness in Children” with Anastasia Arauz
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